Farm of Horror:
As this video shows, a farm in England has been transformed into a house
of horrors for the Halloween season. Of course it has to include a demented
clown and a chainsaw maniac.
My childhood Halloween days on the farm were filled with small-time pranks,
beggars’ visits to the neighbors, and a scary movie or two. We were amateurs
compared to the older crowd that ruled the scene in the late 50s. That’s the
era when a few James Dean imitators decided every Halloween weekend was a time
to trash the streets.
We kids would
stare out the windows as the folks drove us to town on November 1. We passed the
school building featuring toilet paper trees, soaped windows, and shaving cream
graffiti. An outhouse served as lawn decoration. "Probably from the Rogers
place," Dad said. "Some years back a few of the boys hid in the dark
until they saw the old man make his nightly visit. Then they tipped the
outhouse over on its door. That's a tough way to finish the day."
Dad had
another story for us when we’d drive by the Zearing Cemetery. The mausoleum has
been renovated in the past few years, but back when “Abbot and Costello Meet
Frankenstein” made us wet ourselves, the building looked like something Edgar
Allen Poe would have used for the setting of a demonic tale. “Some years before
I was in high school,” Dad said, “I guess a few of the older boys took an
underclassman to the cemetery and locked him in the mausoleum. He may have
spent the night in there with the rats, cobwebs, and souls on the shelves. Didn’t
do his nerves much good from what I heard.”
Post-Halloween
streets in our small town often became obstacle courses. Cars had to weave
around hog feeders, hay bales, and old tractors. One year they added a stolen
manure spreader to the mix. I imagine the feces hit the fan after that; the
vandalism craze seemed to die down some. By the time we grew into our
delinquent stage, Halloweens had become football Fridays, bonfires, and keggers
in the woods—outhouses became as scarce as zoot suits and Edsels.
Trick or treat
nights still occur in our neck of the woods, but now the scary aspects seem to
be warnings about razors in apples and high sugar content in the candy. The
kids deck out in impressive outfits, and generally it’s become an occasion to
score some junk food—with maybe a few granola bars and bananas thrown in to
alleviate guilt. I'm all for healthy eating, but back in the 60s, celery sticks and baby carrots would have had us moaning like zombies.
When we visited
neighboring farms, the creaking windmills and the barking dogs were spooky
enough, and when the old farmer’s wife came to the door, we gave in to her
demand—“I’ll give you a treat after you perform a trick.” So we’d sing a Davy
Crockett song or do somersaults. I think we had it all wrong. Isn’t it supposed
to be that if they don’t give you treats, you do a trick or prank on them? We
didn’t get out much back then.
But we had fun—the
costumes were minimalist, the treats were Snickers and popcorn balls, and the
townsfolk were neighborly. It was nothing fancy, but the ghosts of Halloweens
past on the farm still float by with a Casper-like smile on their faces.
by dan gogerty (top photo from fbcustom.me; bottom pic from jimzippo.com)
by dan gogerty (top photo from fbcustom.me; bottom pic from jimzippo.com)